Gut-Buster 2008

April 15, 2008 at 12:32 pm (Uncategorized)

I’m sure you’ve heard of “sympathy weight.” That’s the weight that a husband gains during his wife’s pregnancy through some occult process, ostensibly in sympathy with her own accumulation of pounds. But what do you call it if you already had a little extra weight on before your wife became pregnant? Apparently, you call it “fat.”

In case you’re wondering why I’m telling you this, I have a gut. And it’s a rather sizable gut, if I do say so myself: using a fairly accurate method of measuring, I have estimated the circumference of my body at the largest point of my gut at 39 inches. That’s a whole six inches larger than at my waist. I know what you’re thinking, dear readers, you’re thinking, “Why, that can’t be! John is one of the trimmest, fittest, dare I say sveltest people I know!” Well, it’s time for the truth to come out: I’ve been sucking that gut in since I was a teenager. I have never been the flat-bellied stud that I pretend to be. No laughing, Mary. Alas, I’m just another average 30-year old soon-to-be dad with a belly bigger than my pregnant wife’s.

But mark my words: That will change. My own dear wife has challenged me, instead of putting on sympathy weight during her pregnancy, to get rid of said weight instead. And, following on the success of last summer’s public push to run a seven-minute mile, I’m announcing this challenge to the world, here and now. Every couple of weeks, I’ll be measuring my gut again, and posting the results here on this website. So far, I’ve woken up early three of the last four mornings to go running up the hills in my neighborhood in Laurel Canyon. And if running up hills for half an hour, five or six days a week, doesn’t get rid of my gut, I don’t know what will.

So, keep your fingers crossed for me, and stay tuned to this space to see regular updates on the progress of Gut-Buster 2008!


  1. marystan said,

    Do you ever run back down those hills?

  2. jlynch1977 said,

    What are you, nuts? Heck no! I WALK back down the hills. If I ran, I’d kill my knees faster than you can say “parthogenesis.”

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